[ conflict ]

it's been awhile. i thought i'd be better at this.

i've been broken up for almost a year from the boy i love. i keep thinking it will get better. it doesn't. i come to a point where i recognize growth, change, a readiness to move on, and then i am taken back, but never completely.

he's leaving. gone for two months with no form of communication. we haven't gone a whole week without talking in some form. not once in three years. it makes me sick to think about. i want to cherish the time i have left with him, but he's so far. i know that this forced time apart will be good. will help. but everything is easier when he's with me. it is the unknown that scares me. i don't know how i'll cope without him. my best friend. my love.

enough for now. i can't open these feelings tonight, this morning.

things will be better tomorrow.