[ "you're beautiful. stay that way. or i'll kick your ass" ]

so, i've been a little out of it these last couple weeks. this guy right here died a couple saturdays ago and i haven't been all put back together since.

he's my favorite. i was one of the lucky ones who got to take care of him and love him and be there for him on a regular basis. this is my great grandfather to boot. 96 years old. he gave us the gift of time (among so many other things that i cherish) and i feel so lucky to have known him, to have really known him.


heartbreak is really an interesting emotion. it's all encompassing. i don't think i've known sadness like this, well, let's be real here, that break up was pretty painful; but this is different. i miss him so much. i only hope i can leave behind such an amazing legacy and be as important to someone as he was to me.


i love you grandpa t. and i miss you very very much.


























p.s. he was the sharpest dresser i've ever known haha! look at that suite! he's favorite color was red and i bought a pair of bright red Tom's shoes in loving memory of him.

[ reality check ]

i spent this past week in the outer banks, north carolina. can you say amazing? so hard to come back home from a place like that. every day was so relaxing and beautiful. not that i really have a lot of stress going on here. i just started working and i live at home. not really a high stress environment.

while i was there an opportunity to see the boy came up. i haven't seen him in seven months. seven months. i can't even believe it. for about two and a half years we didn't go more than two weeks without seeing each other. i can't stress enough how unbelievable it is that we haven't seen each other in so long. naturally, i didn't see him. the depth of my disappointment is alarming and unsettling. i miss him more than i let myself believe i do.

for as relaxing my vacation was, i came home to a potential crisis. my great grandpa isn't doing well, and this past weekend was another really stressful and scary one for the family. i'll leave it at that, however the crisis was adverted seeing that he's doing much better now. *wipes sweat from forehead*

oh, ps, i made this today. my frosting skills leave much to be desired, but it's delicious!

[ new favorite ]

hello new nail polish! this is my new favorite thing, OPI's "who the shrek are you" and i'm going to wear it until i'm literally sick of it or completely out of it.

this has been a pretty crazy couple of days. i'll be back tomorrow or the next day when i have more time to pay the chaos justice.

do you have any new favorite things?

[ cap city : the after show ]

columbus ohio. a home of sorts for four years during college. i came to life in that city; really woke up to the person i wanted to become, and started working and growing towards being her. a major problem in discovering so much about yourself and growing into a different person is not fitting into that box you so comfortably lived in for so long.

i've run into this head on. my hometown isn't enough for me anymore. how awful does that sound? incredibly awful. it's the truth, no matter how i try to disguise it, how i try to belittle it, i can't deny it.

i'm well aware that the only thing truly keeping me here is my family. i recently read kelly cutrone's book, "if you have to cry go outside" and it really opened my eyes. it's a great book. honestly. if you're looking for some inspiration in your life, read it. you won't be disappointed. but after reading it i've made a pact with myself. if this new job doesn't work out by the end of the year i am moving. that's right. packing up all my belonging and leaving my security blanket to try and find some peace and happiness. sound like a plan?

[ cap city ]

i'm heading to columbus this weekend for a mini vacation before my life is re-taken over by work. yes, that's right, i landed myself a job. as of right now the job is only a part time gig, however the owner believes it will form into a full time opportunity in the next few months. i'm not going to lie, i really enjoy being unemployed. i like having all this time to myself. the last time i remember feeling this way i was a sophomore in high school. after that art/design took over my life and i've been running on empty since then. as much as i'm looking forward to this new challenge, i'm also not exactly 100% about it.

i've been pretty exhausted lately. i'm going to the gym five times a week and then going out with my grandma about three to four times a week to visit my great grandpa. i'd never assume that going to visit him would be so draining, but it is. i can't imagine how the little lady does it every day; sometimes twice a day. i'm convinced my grandma is wonder woman.

[ my only work since college ]

here are more images of the portfolio i made for cp&b. this was such a labor of love and like i said in my previous post, i am so happy with how everything turned out.

on a slightly sour note, it is the only work i have to show for myself from the past nine months since i graduated. that's right kids, my old employment gave me absolutely none of the work i created and finished while i was working there. real nice huh? oh well...

my only true heartache about this piece is that i'll never see it again. which is agonizing!

[ fail ]

the month of march was not good to me. after a long over due trip to columbus, ohio, i suffered a crippling head cold for a couple weeks. after recovering from this nasty bit of sickness my great grandpa t's health started spiraling. my grandma goes out to visit him everyday, and i took to the practice as well. she'd pick me up and we'd go out together. i was her support system i guess? i don't know how much support i gave her, but it seemed to be a little easier on her with me there. plus i could provide comedic relief when she would brush his dentures... so gross.

i applied for a job with a company in boulder, colorado last month too. here are some pictures of what i created for them:

i made a "mini-portfolio" to send to them, did a french fold of the portfolio pages, and made covers out of a gray wool and leather. it was the first creative thing i've done since graduating and i couldn't be happier with the way it turned out! i also created another pattern for the back of my resume/cover letters. i've jumped on the plaid trend hard, as you can tell by the back of my cover letter...