[ stagnate ]

i sorta fell like i'm loosing my mind. everyday i find so much inspiration and creative mojo, all i want to do is work on my own stuff. but alas, i am at work...wasting away.

there is a small chance i am suffering from reoccuring anxiety attacks. granted, my findings are from web md, so who knows how credible that self diagnosis is. i have a hard time settling on anxiety attacks because my life isn't really stressful. work has next to no stress involved. my family life is good, friends are good, well with one exception; little to no stress? so what gives? i also refuse to let his departure be the cause of all this. i mean, he's a big deal...too big a deal, but the source of my stress? i can't let him mean that much. i won't.

even if mentally, i'm not doing so hot, i've made an early resolution to myself to get in the positive. i've been a huge debbie downer lately, and i'm tired of it. i can't stand hearing myself talk about my life, so, from this moment on, i am taking a more active role in my life. yeah, i'm not in the ideal spot, but that doesn't mean i can't make the most of my time here. i want to be happy again, and i want that happiness to be contingent on only one factor. me.

there is a lot i want to do. a lot of things i think will make me happier if i can accomplish while trying to change my situation. so i made this...again, thanks to elsie from a beautiful mess. i want to try and do as many, if not all of them. i think...i hope this will help...