[ holy neck cramp batman ]

wowziers. i've never felt this before... definitely not a good thing. my head feels so heavy, and my neck doesn't feel like it can support it. i kid you not, holding my head up, you know, like a normal person, is actually hurting me. kind of making me sick too. oh, this is not good.

this has been a very weird day. it started off weird. i had a dream about him last night. i generally don't dream about specific people, and even more rarely remember my dreams. this was the kind of dream that was so realistic i woke up not knowing if it really happened or not. not good for the progress i thought i was making. he was the boy i fell in love with in my dream, not his current personality. i'm not sure which is worse.

i woke up missing him, a feeling i haven't felt in a really long time. i miss him, generally speaking i miss him, but it's not a constant anymore, not the ever present hole in my chest, the wound is healing, it isn't a fresh cut, and that

feels nice. it's almost as if i woke up this morning in love with

him, and then the past 14 months came flooding back; more pain and more missing him. not a good way to start the day in my opinion.

i'm ready for 5 o'clock. i'm so antsy and impatient. time is moving so slow! here are some images that have helped me pass the time (i'll add credits when i can find them...forgive my lack of organization for the moment!):