[ MIA ]

my apologies. i've been traveling and fighting a nasty head cold.

i will report more later. promise.

[ a spark of madness ]

so after a week and a half of being a lazy piece of garbage, i am putting myself back on track, and back on a schedule. too be a little less harsh on myself, it was a medical issue that kept me in a general state of lazy, but never the less! i am back!so to kick things off i am going on a "applying for jobs & working on my brand" kick. until my website is done i am taking my URL off my resume. i refuse to put off this next chapter in my life for something i may never finish. doesn't make sense. i'm not giving up on the site, still going to work on it, just not going to have it be my primary focus. i'll work on it when i'm inspired and up for battling dreamweaver. end of discussion.

i think a lot of this has to do with my bestest of friends. she's working on getting out of a bad work environment and while i don't necessarily have a work environment at all, i do need to get on with my life.i can't keep doing what i'm doing. no matter how comfortable i could be doing this well... forever...

i know i've said this before, but i think my trip to columbus this upcoming weekend will reinforce my resolve to get my life back together. fingers crossed shall we?

here are some lovelies i've had my eyes on:

a marie antoinette inspired photo shoot:

this modest mouse poster:

and these AMAZING alphabet cups!

[ movie review ]

stardust = cutest movie ever!!

this movie came out a couple years ago, 2007 to be exact, and i didn't see it then, but let me tell you, it was worth the wait. i've been feeling pretty blue lately, not really sad, just disappointed and kind of numb. given what's been going on with a certain boy in my life it's not surprising really, but i'm tired of my lack of emotions.

today was the perfect day to be lazy too! my area of the country is in the snow belt so we are used to obscene amounts of snow. unlike the rest of the east we haven't gotten the apocalyptic amounts of snow; that changed today. no more than usual really, but too much for me to brave leaving the house :) i was very fortunate to have this movie waiting in my mailbox after lunch.

a-dorable. i can't stress enough how cute this movie is! and i recommend it to anyone looking for a feel good/slightly chick flick movie. it was suspenseful, charming, funny, and just completely lovely. oh goodness, it made me so happy! i am a complete sucker for a love story, and i feel for this hook, line, and sinker ha!

another new love in my life are basset hounds. good lord, i took one out to play with at our mall's pet store and my heart melted! she was running around the little room falling all over the place, tripping on her ears. it took everything i had not to break down and take her home right then and there. but having a highly allergic mother and living under her roof were reason enough to postpone my purchase. bad news. the pup was teething, so my hand is pretty scratched up and bleeding in a couple spots. whoops...

i really want puppies. but i have to wait that one out. for now, i'll go to the mall and play with the puppies waiting for homes.

[ three of my favorite things ]

so, a couple posts ago i mentioned getting new glasses. well here they are! pretty happy with the thick black frames, i wanted a pair of vintage ray bans, but there were so many complications! insurance being the major thing, price being the other.

this picture also contains two of my other loves right now. slate gray nail polish and my circle ring, found here. circles are kind of my thing right now, i have them everywhere! (even as a tattoo... my one and only!)

the final point of interest in this photo is on my index finger knuckle. i have a "c" shaped scar there from a dishwashing mishap 9 months ago. together with my circle ring my hand says "co", as my little sister rachael points out all the time :)

[ something borrowed ]

i found this list somewhere on found i believe... and visually, it left much to be desired. so i spruced it up a bit. also... it's the perfect guide to how new people in my life should behave! haha! honestly, if i could come with a manual. this would be it:

[ long over due ]

way too much of this blog has been devoted to my disastrous love life. if you can call it that... i've been dealing with a lot more drama than i've become accustomed to and i owe it all to that boy i once cared so much about. now don't get me wrong, i still have that irrational need to have him in my life. now however, i can recognize where those emotions and feelings are steaming from. a HUGE accomplishment. HUGE!!

i'm not a terribly proud person. what i mean to say is that i am not overly proud, i can take defeat, failure, etc, pretty well. this being said, i can attribute almost all of my issues with said boy to pride. i kept giving him chances, even when he didn't deserve them, over and over again, hoping he'd prove me right! he'd prove to me that i gave my heart to someone who deserved it! even though things didn't work out, i wasn't wrong to give my heart to him. but i was wrong, and i hate being proved wrong, especially about this. it may not seem like a major feat, but for me, it is. knowing now exactly why i keep giving him chances is empowering. the only downside is the immense disappointment flooding over me from the realization that he wasn't worth it, he didn't deserve my love or my friendship. i was wrong about him.

i'm hoping everything will be easier with this knowledge, this slap in the face. i've come to really dislike this boy in the last few months; in a way i didn't think was possible. i don't like these feelings but i hope they give me the push i need to really and truly move on once and for all. let it sink in: lauren... he. isn't. worth. it.